Beyond Destiny
by CandyFanWriters
Summary: Emma deals with Tyler's death. But do the ones we love ever leave us?
1. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

Title: "Beyond Destiny" Authors: EyeCandy and Fan81981 Disclaimer: We don't own any of the Mutant X characters. How sad. Rating: PG (?) Couple: Emma/Tyler and Emma/? Summary: Takes place after "Destiny's End". Emma deals with Tyler's death. The people who we love, do they ever really leave us?  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
In her mind she kept seeing his face, how it looked right before the green gas clouded it over, how it told her everything she needed to know, then he was gone. She was asleep, but even in her dreams she couldn't escape the pain of losing him. A tear fell down the right side of her cheek, joining the many that had collected on her pillow.  
  
Emma tossed in her sleep, unable to find a comfortable position. Her mind was reliving the memory of his death, every emotion she felt that day flowed through her like lava, searing her heart, burning it till nothing remained.  
  
How he had looked, how he had made her feel. How his lips had felt on hers.  
  
She heard him tell her that he loved her. He placed his hand on the glass window that was separating them, what she would have given to touch his hand one last time, to feel its warmth, its realness. She told him that she loved him and then he was gone. The one person that understood her better than she understood herself, the one person she loved with every fiber of her being was gone, and she didn't know how to deal with it.  
  
*~Tyler. . . God Tyler . . . No!!! Please!! ~*  
  
Emma woke up screaming, her body bathed in a cold sweat.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan paced outside Emma's door, unsure what to do. Suddenly the stillness was shattered by the sound of her scream. Brennan only hesitated for a second before he charged in.  
  
Emma turned at the sound of the door opening and looked at Brennan with uncomprehending eyes.  
  
*~ Why is he here? ~*  
  
Brennan stopped and looked at Emma, what could he say? He had not approved of Emma and Tyler. He had thought it endangered the team and hurt Emma. What could he say to make it better now?  
  
"What are you doing here?" Emma asked, a shade coldly.  
  
Brennan flinched at the tone of her voice; he probably deserved it. But he had to continue.  
  
"I heard you scream. I came in to check on you."  
  
"I am fine. It was a bad dream." Emma's voice was flat.  
  
"Want to talk about it?" Brennan asked hesitantly. Emma did not reply and Brennan imagined that her stare was slightly reproachful. It asked him why he was so concerned now. It asked him why did he bother?  
  
Brennan could not answer Emma's questions.  
  
"Should . . . should I send one of the others in? Maybe you shouldn't be alone tonight."  
  
"I AM alone. No one can change that."  
  
"Emma . . ." Brennan stepped towards her, he had to make it better somehow.  
  
Emma quickly turned away. "I am tired. I want to go back to bed now Brennan. Good night."  
  
It was a dismissal.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan didn't say anything else, he knew better. Emma wasn't open to anything right now, she was in too much pain. The tall elemental turned and left the room, regretfully closing the door behind him.  
  
*~I can't stand to see her in so much pain . . . she means so much to me~*  
  
Brennan slowly wandered back to his room and shut the door, leaving the feeling of anguish floating thickly in the air.  
  
Emma quickly fell back into a fitful sleep, this time seeing the moment they first met.  
  
Emma and the team where searching a chemical plant for a group eco- terrorists that had been raiding other chemical plants. As Emma walked in to an open area in the plant, she felt a presence, but a different kind of presence. In a flash, she saw herself lovingly touching and kissing this mystery man, as if she knew him intimately. Was it a premonition or just a passing fancy?  
  
Emma couldn't say anything as she saw the man appear in front of her, she knew that he was like her - a Psionic. She could also feel that he really didn't want to be doing this. It was surprising how much she knew him - what he felt, what he hoped, what he feared. It was paralyzing.  
  
Only after the man disappeared around the corner did she alert the others. She had let down her friends for him, even then.  
  
Emma shifted in her sleep, the guilt still fresh enough to disturb her.  
  
The dream shifted to the next time she saw him, at the beach. He had looked so handsome and sexy in just his swim shorts. When he saw her, he promptly introduced himself as Tyler.  
  
*~ Tyler. ~*  
  
Tyler somehow fitted him, it was strong, but it had a happy, carefree ring to it. A feeling Emma now understood as completely appropriate for Tyler. He asked her to come to the party they where having that night, she agreed immediately.  
  
Anything to be closer to him.  
  
Tears formed again in her eyes, and they fell freely again in her sleep. The pain was constant, unending; her tears seemed to flow continuously like the water in the fountain in the meditation room. Emma was drowning and she did not care.  
  
She couldn't escape it, nor did she want to, it made her feel, even if it was a horrible sensation.  
  
Anything to remember, anything to keep him close.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x  
  
Brennan stood outside her door, still standing guard even though she had told him to leave. He would not - could not leave her. He could not abandon her again.  
  
If he been more understanding of what she felt for Tyler, if he had bothered to listen instead of lecture - then maybe things would be different now. He was not sure exactly how he could have made a difference, but he knew he was at fault.  
  
He had failed Emma once; he would not do so again.  
  
He would be there for her - her tear stained face flashed before his eyes - even if it killed him.  
  
x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x 


	2. Hiding it all

Morning came and found Brennan still outside Emma's door. He should have fallen asleep or at least nodded off – his exhaustion was so great. But even that peace was denied him. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw Emma's tear stained face, whenever he rested his head on his arms he heard her scream.   
  
He was losing his mind – he wanted to help, somehow make it better but he did not know how. He had been trying so hard to be efficient, a true leader that he had forgotten how to be a friend. He had hurt his best friend with careless words and the inability to understand.   
  
  
Once again, he leaned towards the door, hoping to catch the sound of Emma's breathing.   
  
You won't be able to hear anything, she is asleep.   
  
  
Brennan spun around to see Shalimar standing near him.   
  
  
Are you sure?   
  
Shalimar could have made some comment on how she was a feral or on how she was always sure – but she restrained herself. She could see the worry on the Elemental's face. Truth be told, she was as worried about Emma herself.   
  
  
Yes. Her breathing is regular, she is asleep.   
  
Brennan nodded and got up from the floor. I hope she is able to rest.   
  
  
**x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x**   
  
Emma knew this was a dream – it had to be.   
  
She was walking on the beach, hand-in-hand with Tyler. The waves gently lapped at their ankles, and Emma knew she was happy.   
  
  
_*~ I thought you were dead. ~*_   
  
_*~ I am. ~*_   
  
_*~ Then this IS a dream. ~*_   
  
Emma let go of Tyler's hand and started walking away. Tears flooded her eyes and she could not see where she was walking.   
  
It was only a strong pair of arms that prevented her from falling – Tyler's arms. Emma closed her eyes and breathed in his scent – it filled her senses and tore into all her defenses.   
  
Tyler turned her around so that she faced him – then ever so gently her wiped the rears of his face. Emma tilted her head, leaning into his palm. His thumbs stroked her cheeks, making her smile despite the weight on her heart.   
  
_*~ You are not real. ~*_   
  
_*~ I am as real so you want me to be. ~*_   
  
Emma shook her head, she could not take this anymore. She tore herself form Tyler's grasp.   
  
_*~ I saw you die. ~*_   
  
_*~ Emma . . . please . . . ~*_   
  
_*~ I saw you die. You left me. ~*_   
  
Emma spun around, feeling her heart break all over again.   
  
  
_*~ Emma . . . ~*_   
  
**x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x**   
  
Emma woke up gasping to fill her lungs with oxygen. She looked around, desperately hoping that she would see Tyler lying next to her.   
  
  
The bed was empty – cold   
  
_*~ You left me. ~*_   
  
**x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x**   
  
Emma moved from the warmth of her covers and headed to her bathroom. Entering, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and swollen, her complexion drawn and sullen, and her hair...   
  
  
God... what a mess... Her voice was withdrawn and dark. Her attitude this morning was anything but her usual cheerfulness.   
  
Emma was in what Shalimar would call a Get the hell away and leave me alone mood. One that the feral frequented. Quickly running the comb through her hair and brushing her teeth, she turned back toward the direction of her bed. She stared at it. It looked so warm and inviting. She wanted to stay in bed, to hid away under her covers and just melt away into nothing.  
  
  
  
No.... Emma vocalized softly. She would go down and have some breakfast, and then she would come back and hide.   
  
**x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x**   
  
"She hasn't left her room in ages, I think we should go and drag her from that bed of hers and hog tie her to this chair.." Jesse jabbed a thumb in the direction of Emma's kitchen chair. "And force some food down her throat!" his voice held a certain amount of annoyance with a bit of exasperation. Jesse looked at Shalimar and Brennan for approval, but none came.   
  
"Leave her be, Jesse" Shalimar said in a solemn voice. "She needs time to grieve, she just lost the love of her life! She needs time to heal. Shalimar looked hard at the young Molecular, showing her disapproval of his words.   
  
  
Brennan sighed deeply, as if it was his fault she was hidden away in her room, his fault she was hurting. He ignored Jesse. He really didn't think that hog tying Emma to anything would help. What she needed was someone to talk to, someone to confide in, but she was in so much pain he knew she'd never ask. She would keep all her feelings bottled up inside her heart and torture herself needlessly. He knew what kind of person Emma was, he knew her inside and out, and it hurt him to see what she was doing to herself right now.   
  
Shalimar's ears picked up a subtle sound from the hallway, and cocked her head slightly to the side to listen.   
  
"She's coming," she said quietly and the trio clamped their mouths shut.   
  
  
Emma made her way to the kitchen and when she stepped inside, she saw the look on her companions' faces. The look was one of pity, and sympathy. The vibe in the room held what could be describe as Shut up she's coming. We weren't talking about her or as her hippy parents use to say Keep it on the down low.   
  
Emma knew that the others had been talking about her, that they didn't want to say anything so as to not upset her. She hated it. She LOATHED that feeling. She didn't want to be pitied, didn't want the others to treat her as if she was breakable, as if she was a china doll. For God's sake, she was a powerful mutant! She could break into their minds and rip their memories from them, leaving them trembling and helpless at her feet. She had done it to Jesse when they were Kovecastan and the enemy soldiers were coming toward them. Thought she had done it to save them, she had removed the memory from Jesse's mind to keep him knowing the true strength of her powers. She had to keep him from telling the others, from telling Brennan...   
  
Wait. Why did she care about what Brennan thought? Emma shook her head mentally and headed to the fridge.   
  
Emma searched around the fridge for some melon to eat; she wasn't starving but knew that having something in her stomach wouldn't be such a bad thing. Finding what she was looking for, a bowl of fruit salad left over from a few days ago, Emma grabbed it and went to the drawer for a spoon and sat down in her place at the table.   
  
The room had never been so quiet, the air was thick with a sense of confusion, or apprehension. Which ever it was, Emma didn't have the strength or will to differentiate between the two. So the foursome ate in silence, an uncomfortable one to say the least. All that could be heard was Jesse fidgeting under the table and Shalimar's soft munching. When Emma was finished she got up from the table and placed her dishes in the sink and headed back toward her bedroom, she quickly looked around at her friends, but they all had their heads in their plates, none looked at her. She sighed softly and headed back to bed.   
  
Brennan had felt Emma's eyes on him before she left the room, his heart twinged slightly and he knew he should do something. Getting up from his seat, he repeated the same action Emma did and placed his dishes in the sink. "I'm going to talk to her, he said softly and before either Shalimar or Jesse could respond, he was out the door and heading to Emma's room, bumping into Adam in the process.   
  
"Oh Sorry Adam... " Brennan said absent mindedly and continued on. Adam watched as the tall elemental walked away from him, leaving a slightly confused look on his older face.   



	3. Seeing is not always believing

Emma, please open the door. Brennan knocked at her door again, still not getting an answer. Maybe she had gone to bed – no he could hear her moving inside her room. He had to speak to her. He had to help her, he had not decided how he would manage exactly but he knew he would. Emma was his best friend, he would find her way.   
  
Brennan resolutely ignored the small voice in his head, which reminded him Emma's dead eyes when she spoke to him. It also reminded him that he had been negligent, oblivious to her pain. He had been so hung up with his new responsibilities and Shalimar that he had ignored Emma.   
  
He had to make it up to her by helping her now.  
  
Emma I know you are awake, I need to speak to you.  
  
He raised his hand to knock again, but before he could lower it the door was yanked open and a very pissed off Emma faced him.  
  
What do you want?  
  
Brennan almost balked at the sheer anger that radiated from her. Her eyes drilled into him, accusing him. Why was he here? Why could he not leave her alone?  
  
_*~ At least it is better than seeing her pain. ~*_  
  
With that thought in his head Brennan smiled what he hoped was a conciliatory and soothing smile. I think we need to talk Emma.  
  
You do, do you? Maybe I don't want to talk to you? Ever think of that, Mr Mulwray (A/N: spelling?)? Emma was almost spitting in her rage. She really didn't need this right now, she did not need Brennan's condescension – or his sympathy.  
  
Emma let me help you. Brennan pleaded.  
  
Emma gave up.  
  
_*~ I can't do this anymore. ~*_  
  
Fine come in. Her lifeless tone bothered Brennan more than he cared to admit. But he entered anyway – he would find a way. Didn't he always?  
  
**x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x**  
  
Emma told Brennan, sitting on the bed herself. What did you want to speak to me about?  
  
About you, Emma. We are all worried about you.  
  
  
  
So, it is not healthy what you are doing to yourself.  
  
_*~ And talking to you is? ~*_  
  
And I repeat, so?  
  
So, you must stop? Brennan winced at his choice of words.  
  
Emma immediately reared up at the word must'.  
  
I _must_ stop! I _must_! _Why_ must I stop, Brennan? Why should I bother, it is my life to live or ruin as I see fit.  
  
_*~ And my life ended when Tyler died. ~*_  
  
Now you're being foolish, Emma. You are hurting those around you, your friends, us. We all love you, and worry about you.  
  
No one asked to worry about me. Emma said a little sullenly.  
  
_*~ Please leave me alone, Brennan. I can't have this conversation right now. Please. ~*_  
  
Brennan was beginning to lose him, We love you Emma, but that does not mean we are going to put up with this selfishness for much longer.  
  
_*~ Then don't love me, don't love me. I will only end up losing you too. Don't love me. ~*_  
  
Selfish how dare you, Brennan!? How dare you call my grieving selfish?!! Emma screamed at him, needed to hurt him as much as she hurt.  
  
It is selfish, TYLER IS DEAD EMMA. Get over it.  
  
Emma felt like she had been hit in the stomach, pain washed over her.  
  
_*~ Tyler is dead. Dead ~*_  
  
You are being childish, Emma. Brennan continued, warming up to his theme when Emma did not interrupt.  
  
_*~ He is dead and I am alone. ~*_  
  
You do not leave your room.  
  
_*~ He left me alone. ~*_  
  
You hardly eat.  
  
_*~Tyler ~*_  
  
You avoid all of us.  
  
_*~ Tyler, please ~*_  
  
You cannot do this, Emma you have responsibilities   
  
_*~ Tyler, no ~*_ Emma's mind screamed again and again as she got lost in her memories, blocking out what Brennan was saying.  
  
_*~ Emma, darling ~*_  
  
_*~ Tyler?! ~*_  
  
_*~ You left me ~*_  
  
_*~ I can never leave you. I love you. ~*_  
  
**x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x**  
  
_*~ I love you too, Tyler. ~*_  
  
Brennan was getting worried now, Emma had not said another word. He wouldn't have thought it possible but he wished Emma would scream and him, hit him – anything except this dead silence.  
  
She looked completely lost to the world, silent and unmoving. Her eyes were slightly unfocused as if she stared deep into herself. Brennan stopped talking but there was no change in her demeanor.  
  
He got up from his seat and gently shook her. No response. Brennan shook her harder, fear clenching his heart now.  
  
Emma, snap out of it. Emma!  
  
Brennan's presence and worry overwhelmed Emma. His emotions flooded hers, blocking out all others, blocking out hers.  
  
_*~ Tyler no don't leave me again. ~*_  
  
Brennan sat down next to her, taking her in his arms as she started to sob. He didn't know what had set her off but he knew it hurt him.  
  
_*~ Emma, don't do this to yourself. ~*_  
  
**x – x – x – x – x – x – x – x**  
  
_*~ Emma, don't do this to yourself. ~*_  
  
Brennan's feelings were clear and bright. They cut into Emma's mind, where they had no business being. They dwarfed everything else, blocked everything else – blocked Tyler.  
  
Emma howled in pure rage, pushing Brennan away from her with all of her strength. He was so surprised that he fell off the bed.  
  
How dare you touch me? How dare you!!!  
  
Emma advanced on the Elemental, an insane fury dancing in her eyes.  
  
Get out. Get out of my sights.  
  
Emma what is wrong? Brennan scrambled to his feet and took a step towards Emma.  
  
Don't touch me! Whatever you do don't touch me! Emma flinched from him, causing Brennan to feel guilty.  
  
His guilt joined his confusion and sympathy to form an overpowering wave of emotions. Emma almost lost control of herself and her sanity.  
  
She took a deep breath and shouted as she had never shouted before in her life, GET OUT OF MY ROOM.  
  
As soon as Brennan had run out, Emma collapsed to the floor, tears pouring down her face.  
  
_*~ Tyler. ~*_  
  
  
  
She was shaking, so badly that she couldn't stop. She sat down on her bed and stared straight ahead. Emma could barely remember what had just happened seconds before.   
  
Did Brennan just yell at her? Or did she yell at him? She blinked slowly. Did I hear Tyler in my head? She wondered still shaking, as she covered her eyes with her hands.  
  
_*~You did ~*   
_   
The voice seemed closer now, as if it was in the room with her. Am I growing crazy, she asked herself.  
  
_*~ Not yet ~*  
_   
Emma looked up. Where was it coming from? She turned her head. And right in front of her there was a sight she had never thought she would see again.  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
